packing already?

As I write this I'm sitting at my desk, looking out over the early morning Winchester campus at what looks like another beautiful sunny day, while Emily packs up her suitcase to go home. My room is completely torn apart since I effectively have had to begin packing today, sending Emily home with extra clothes and other items I've accumulated since arriving here. I don't leave until Saturday, but with saying goodbye to two of my American friends that are leaving this morning along with Emily and starting the packing process so early, the reality of leaving is really sinking in. I'm leaving and I'll never be back again. When I do visit, it will never be the same. I'll never be a student here again, never live here, never genuinely belong to this campus and this country like I do right now. 

. . . 

Later

I've just returned from walking Janie and Emily to the bus station at the end of High Street. Janie isn't the only one who's leaving a bit early. Since the finals week period is three weeks long, many students, including myself, have their exams scheduled within the first week or so and are done with all their work before the term is officially over. For the last three weeks, the dorms have been slowly emptying, and one by one I've had to say goodbye to friends, both British and American. I'm not sure what's harder--saying a goodbye every other day or all at once, but either way, it's not fun. This morning Janie and Scott left to go home to Wisconsin for work related reasons, so now there's only a handful of Americans left on campus. Standing at the bus station with Janie and Emily was almost surreal--it really was only just over four months ago that we were standing on that same curb, freezing and tired, waiting for the University shuttle to pick us up and take us to campus so we wouldn't get lost. It almost feels like a different life, not an actual memory.

Yesterday was just one of those beautiful, perfect days you picture when you imagine summer. The few of us Americans that are left on campus--Tim, Karen, Hillary, Janie, and Sam, as well as my sister, Sam's visiting friend, and an English couple named Jo and Sam--made the hike out to St. Catherine's Hill, the same hike we make the first weekend we spent in Winchester. It was an absolutely lovely sunny afternoon, perfect for lying in the grass and daisies, doing cartwheels, kicking a football about, and having piggy-back races across the top of the hill. (Unfortunately Emily has those pictures on her camera so I can't upload them til I get home, but those will come). We headed back to campus after 5 and I changed and joined some of my rugby teammates and British friends for a barbecue at my rugby captain Sparrow's house. After sitting around her backyard talking and enjoying a drink and some burgers, we wandered over to the neighborhood park to play a game of touch rugby, though it quickly disintegrated into tackling and tickling and running around yelling in any direction playing keep away. Fun times. 

I said goodbye and headed back over to campus to spend time with Janie and Scott before they left. I found a group of my friends holding a goodbye party of sorts out on the lawn in front of our dorms. We sat in the grass in a circle, talking and singing along to Queen and thinking back on the year. After awhile we picked up and went to the local pub for one last drink before it closed at 11. 

Janie and I left the group after this to stop by a different dormitory to pick up a mug she had left there the previous week, and on our way back to Alwyn (our dorm), we stopped to lie in the road for a bit. We lay on the quiet street staring up at the black sky, talking about the semester and how much we loved it. It was just one of those moments when everything slows down and you stop and look around you, realizing just how rare the moment is and just how blessed you are--'this is life, this is living.' I said that there had been quite a few of those types of moments this term--moments when I just had to take a breath and savour everything around me because I wanted to remember it forever. Janie replied that she couldn't recall a single moment like that in Eau Claire during the school year. Sad, but true. Janie and I agreed that when we think back to our semesters at Eau Claire, it's all a blur--we just remember being really tired and doing lots of work. The weeks all blend together as one constant, stressful rush of deadlines and schedules and assignments and work. But here, things are different, and I'm going to miss that so, so much.